Monday, May 22, 2006

Random bitching

Long time, no post. Sorry ‘bout that. :P The last few days have been CRAZY-busy!

I went to the Tae Kwon Do class Thursday night, only to find that it had been cancelled till tonight! Geez. So I’ll be there tonight with bells on! Well, maybe not with bells. That would just be silly. :) So I went home and did my yoga DVD, which I love anyway, so it was all good.

I ran errands with my mom on Saturday and we had lunch, which was nice. And I started PMS-ing BADLY, but I didn’t order a burger and fries and chips with salsa and a margarita at lunch, all of which I wanted! LOL I had one of those BBQ chicken salads, although I did ask for extra dressing . . . mmmmmm, SALT! I figured as far as WW points were concerned, it was probably just as bad as the burger and fries, but nutritionally it was at least a LITTLE better, right? I mean there was lettuce and tomatoes and various other vegetables . . .

I’m going to have to really watch it the rest of the week, though; when I’m in the middle of PMS, I crave salt like nobody’s business! Sometimes I feel like I could just salt a stick of butter and eat it! (I’ve never done that, but the thought has crossed my mind.) So for this week I purposely made food that is good for me, but way too high in salt for general consumption. But (much like the BBQ salad rationale) I figure that salty marinated chicken and Asian veggies is better than the McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish sandwich with a French fry chaser and a dessert . . . um, chaser-chaser? We’ll see how this goes. ::::wry grin:::: And yes, I know that McDonald’s food is gross, but I remember eating when I was little, so it’s comfort food. Especially those Fish thingies, which I LOVED when I was little . . . It was always such a huge decision: a fish sandwich or a Happy Meal? The fish sandwich didn’t come in the Happy Meal, you know, but the TOY didn’t come with the fish sandwich. Serious consideration had to go into that decision. Life was tough when I was 6 or 7 years old. ;)

And my back has been hurting. The short version is that several years ago I had a ruptured disc in my back, but it was an unusual kind of rupture that was treatable with holistic medicine instead of surgery. So now it’s all better. Except. For some reason, if I am worried about either my finances or if my self-esteem about my body-image is low, my back will hurt like a mother-fucker. Recently, although I’m not necessarily feeling WORRIED, I’ve been working on changing my attitudes about those two areas of my life, and it’s bringing all kinds of emotional crap to the surface, which in turn is causing my back to hurt. I don’t have the financial wherewithal to leave my desk job, but after the first hour or so, I’m in a pretty fair amount of pain. And I have a high pain tolerance, so for me to be having problems, it’s pretty bad. ::::sigh:::: I’m not going to STOP changing my attitudes about my weight and my money, so that’s not a solution. But there has to be a better solution than just gutting it out. I wonder if my mom has any homeopathy meds for this . . . :P

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